My mother, Karen, struggled her whole life with mental illness. Her pain was both internal and external. She often would tell me how she was in fear, that her thoughts were confused and she had been tormented on the inside, she felt sick, tired, and had pain all over her body. In her last year with illness she was bipolar, having a long manic episode then hit a depressive state all while battling schizophrenia. Her family tried everything, we had gotten her help with a family practice and new medications. Right when she hit a large struggle her family practice dropped her as a patient saying she "needs more help than we can provide." We were referred to the county, however they could not directly set her up. We made a therapy appointment at a new facility and had calls into the county health. County health took weeks to get back, the day she took her life, they called and left a message to callback for services. She loved so many people in her life that she tried to continue on for as long as she could, but in the end, she was in pain, suffering, and finally took it into her own hands. I hope to shed light on the impact of mental illness and the importance of getting real impactful help to people in need. My mother should have been directly referred to the help she needed, she should not have been left to suffer while asking for help. People are suffering and the access to help is limited. I hope one day people and their families can seek and have full access to wholistic treatment for mental illness.